Last week I completed my midyear exams. They were alright, I suppose, but I'm glad they're over! This term has flown by so quickly I can hardly believe I only have 2 weeks left of this term. But I'm not complaining.
After almost 5 days of doing absolutely nothing, I realise that I am completely worn out. I can't study or do any homework. It's not that I'm lazy or I don't want to do well anymore. I just can't. And I am so frustrated because I know that everyone else is working their butt off, trying their hardest to do the very best they can. And I would too, but it's as if someone has stuck a syringe in me and drawn out all the motivation from my body.
So now I sit here at my desk, swinging from side to side in my wheely chair as I type this, knowing that hours, minutes and seconds tick by as a new week rapidly approaches, threatening a new tidal wave of work.
Man, since when did I become emo? Ok, time for me to stop sniveling about how life is a veil of tears and get to work.
I didn't realise I was such a sissy girl.
19 June 2011
26 May 2011
Frustration
Okay, so a lot of things have been on my mind lately.
I have found myself becoming increasingly annoyed at everyone and everything. Some people think that life is a breeze for me and that I shouldn't be worried or stressed about anything. For example, several of my friends have been telling me, "You don't have to worry about midyears. You're smart, you don't need to study." Everyday I hear the same thing. Then I have other people saying to me, "You don't seem like yourself. You're so quiet".
Me: Hmmm, well, let me think. Is there anything coming up that might change my life and possibly my future career?
Conscience: Uh, hang on, what about the exams you will have in less than 3 weeks?
Me: Nah, man, who cares about those? I've been stressing over what to wear to my next party! DUH! All my dresses are too long. They're like, above the knee.
Conscience: .....
I'm sorry if this sounds offensive or that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but all I'm asking is that people use some COMMON SENSE.
Ooooooooooooooh! What's common sense? *headdesk*
kthxbai
I have found myself becoming increasingly annoyed at everyone and everything. Some people think that life is a breeze for me and that I shouldn't be worried or stressed about anything. For example, several of my friends have been telling me, "You don't have to worry about midyears. You're smart, you don't need to study." Everyday I hear the same thing. Then I have other people saying to me, "You don't seem like yourself. You're so quiet".
Me: Hmmm, well, let me think. Is there anything coming up that might change my life and possibly my future career?
Conscience: Uh, hang on, what about the exams you will have in less than 3 weeks?
Me: Nah, man, who cares about those? I've been stressing over what to wear to my next party! DUH! All my dresses are too long. They're like, above the knee.
Conscience: .....
I'm sorry if this sounds offensive or that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but all I'm asking is that people use some COMMON SENSE.
Ooooooooooooooh! What's common sense? *headdesk*
kthxbai
14 April 2011
Long time no blog
I haven't been blogging for a while.
Guess why.
I've been thinking a lot lately (I'll do anything to get out of studying)about the way I live my life, how I interact with others, etc. I recently realised that I tend idolise people. Maybe 'idolise' is too strong a word; perhaps 'overly admire'? No, I think I'll stick with 'idolise'. Anyway, I'll meet someone and I'll think the world of them. I'll admire this 'angel' so much when suddenly, they will do or say something that shatters their halo. Well, in my view, anyway. It annoys me so much. Also, I have this tendency to trust everyone with information about myself, failing to realise that they could use to insult me. Is this a lesson? Maybe God is trying to teach me that I should not rely on mere humans, but instead seek His approval. Although this has happened to me so many times, I always make the same mistakes over and over again.
Last year my friend played me a song called, "In Christ Alone" by Keith Getty and Stuart Townend. I recently discovered that Adam Young (Owl City) did a cover of it and posted it on his blog. Here are the lyrics and the link to his version of this beautiful song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ky5rAgjLEAI
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled and when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
Fro I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ
No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from his hand
'Till he returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.
I'm currently into my second week of holidays. It's quite scary knowing that in 8 weeks time I will be having my first exam. Once it's over, I won't be able to change anything. I want to do well, but there always seems to be something more exciting to do than study. Having a sister in uni doesn't help either.
Speaking of university, I went to one a couple of days ago. The campus is absolutely beautiful! There are trees everywhere, the buildings have so much character and the whole atmosphere is wonderful! It was like being in Hogwarts! I've been there several times and I'm ALMOST certain that this is the university for me.
I wrote a letter to my future self yesterday. I wonder what I'll be like in one year's time. Hopefully not so blur.
Back to psychology! Because I need it.
P.S. Goodbye.
Guess why.
I've been thinking a lot lately (I'll do anything to get out of studying)about the way I live my life, how I interact with others, etc. I recently realised that I tend idolise people. Maybe 'idolise' is too strong a word; perhaps 'overly admire'? No, I think I'll stick with 'idolise'. Anyway, I'll meet someone and I'll think the world of them. I'll admire this 'angel' so much when suddenly, they will do or say something that shatters their halo. Well, in my view, anyway. It annoys me so much. Also, I have this tendency to trust everyone with information about myself, failing to realise that they could use to insult me. Is this a lesson? Maybe God is trying to teach me that I should not rely on mere humans, but instead seek His approval. Although this has happened to me so many times, I always make the same mistakes over and over again.
Last year my friend played me a song called, "In Christ Alone" by Keith Getty and Stuart Townend. I recently discovered that Adam Young (Owl City) did a cover of it and posted it on his blog. Here are the lyrics and the link to his version of this beautiful song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ky5rAgjLEAI
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled and when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
Fro I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ
No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from his hand
'Till he returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.
I'm currently into my second week of holidays. It's quite scary knowing that in 8 weeks time I will be having my first exam. Once it's over, I won't be able to change anything. I want to do well, but there always seems to be something more exciting to do than study. Having a sister in uni doesn't help either.
Speaking of university, I went to one a couple of days ago. The campus is absolutely beautiful! There are trees everywhere, the buildings have so much character and the whole atmosphere is wonderful! It was like being in Hogwarts! I've been there several times and I'm ALMOST certain that this is the university for me.
I wrote a letter to my future self yesterday. I wonder what I'll be like in one year's time. Hopefully not so blur.
Back to psychology! Because I need it.
P.S. Goodbye.
18 February 2011
Back to the books
So, I have completed my first two weeks of school and I found them to be..well, interesting. I haven't had a whole pile of homework and assignments (yet!) and everything seems to be going well. Perhaps the reason I have (dare I say?) "enjoyed" these weeks is because they have been so interrupted: first we had an entire school assembly in which all the senior students were presented to the school, then school photos, an oral presentation (which was extremely nerve-wracking!) and then a year level assembly.
On one of these interrupted days, one of my teachers gave me such helpful advise and guidance for this year. It was quite out of the blue, but I can't help but feel a sense of admiration for teachers who go out of their way to actually help students, especially when help is not asked for. I also find it interesting that such teachers know exactly what the student needs help with, even though the student isn't aware of it himself/herself.
Saturday school wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. There were many new students and, thankfully, most of the students were not up to such a high level. I am getting a little worried, though, because I know that I have loads of room for improvement.
Until next time.
On one of these interrupted days, one of my teachers gave me such helpful advise and guidance for this year. It was quite out of the blue, but I can't help but feel a sense of admiration for teachers who go out of their way to actually help students, especially when help is not asked for. I also find it interesting that such teachers know exactly what the student needs help with, even though the student isn't aware of it himself/herself.
Saturday school wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. There were many new students and, thankfully, most of the students were not up to such a high level. I am getting a little worried, though, because I know that I have loads of room for improvement.
Until next time.
30 January 2011
4 days
Aargh!
There are 4 days until the beginning of an important year for me. That's right, my final year of school is swiftly approaching, and I can only hope (although I may regret it later) that it will go quickly.
I suppose it is exciting to know that I will be free when this is all over, but what alarms me is the amount of work I will have to wade through in order to reach my destination. Being the last one in my family who is in school makes me feel left behind, as if everyone will be moving on to greater things but I will still have to wear the same uniform, same muddy shoes, and lug the same heavy textbooks around!
I am quite nervous about this year because it will be the first (and last!) time I will have to regularly attend Saturday school. I'm worried that I will not be able to cope. I am afraid I will be ambushed by that thief of time and will be unable to motivate myself, unable to concentrate.
Hopefully this year will not be as bad as I imagine it to be.
PS. I'm not usually this gloomy :)
There are 4 days until the beginning of an important year for me. That's right, my final year of school is swiftly approaching, and I can only hope (although I may regret it later) that it will go quickly.
I suppose it is exciting to know that I will be free when this is all over, but what alarms me is the amount of work I will have to wade through in order to reach my destination. Being the last one in my family who is in school makes me feel left behind, as if everyone will be moving on to greater things but I will still have to wear the same uniform, same muddy shoes, and lug the same heavy textbooks around!
I am quite nervous about this year because it will be the first (and last!) time I will have to regularly attend Saturday school. I'm worried that I will not be able to cope. I am afraid I will be ambushed by that thief of time and will be unable to motivate myself, unable to concentrate.
Hopefully this year will not be as bad as I imagine it to be.
PS. I'm not usually this gloomy :)
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